Experimentalist Podcast Writing Submission: 010 / by Brandon Mitchell

"Being weird is like being normal and not worrying about it. I worry about being weird all the time. Being weird enough." -- Ogle B Straight

I wanna get out of this. (Wrestles around with shirt and pants). I wanna get out of this tight pants thing. This belt’s too tight. This collar. I mean, (looks around) no one’s here. Can’t I break this part of my “personality”.
    Man, that’s weird. That’s almost like me saying that I don’t want to be me. That’s not fair. That’s not fair to me. Now, I’m not saying that I’m all that or whatever. I’m just saying. I don’t know. I can’t really say what I mean. I mean, I mean what I say. I just can’t. . . You know.

GOLD, JERRY, GOLD. I had this friend, Jerry? (Yeah) He was a sweaty bastard. I don’t mean he was abandoned by his dad, he was just sweaty as shit. And I don’t mean to say that shit is sweaty as balls, I just mean. . .well maybe on blacktop on a hot, sunny day. But, his shit stank. It’s like if you took a bastard, and I’m not talking Jerry, I’m talking a real fatherless child and dunked it in a pile of steaming, sweaty shit and then put that in an oven on broil in a kitchen that’s got no smoke alarm, you got yourself some rank shit. ‘t does. Ranks right up there with the best. The best around. Never gonna stop the choir.

THE DREAM IS being the man you want to be. The guy you would be if you could be. You think of a perfect scenario and how far away from that you are. But, it is impossible to accurately judge exactly how far from a situation you actually are. That’s because the closer you get to anything, the more obvious it’s flaws. From outer space, Earth looks like a beautiful, harmonious place. See what I mean?
    “Earth People! New York and California!” a green headed goopey creature shouted. I thought, “I must be dreaming.” I was having a rough time in this world. I felt first and foremost that 1996 was a crucial and sometimes overlooked period of hip hop history. That took up most of my time. It’s hard keeping any conversation going with noise like that going on in the dome. But, there’s some grooves from that particular era that are as good yoga. So, yeah, I can say it was a rough time. And this green headed monster wasn’t calming things down either.
    Timmint leaned over to me and said something in another language that I couldn’t understand. He was new in town and hadn’t gotten a grasp of the lingo. I shrugged and he turned into a plant. Right then I had the classic track “Whateva Man” from Redman’s Muddy Waters pumping in my ears. I looked around for a volume knob but I wasn’t wearing headphones, it was a memory. Then I realized that it was...it really was a dream. I took a second to look at myself and check myself out before I woke up crooked in a couple of blankets. Distorted, twisted, and smelling kind of funky.
    I often think of that guy. The guy I dreamt was me.